Nothing Is Real

I'm going MAAAAD. I applied several years ago to a massive RP called polychromatic as Donna Noble. I was rejected.
That rejection has stuck with me ever since, making me afraid of the roleplay. I hate being told my writing isn't good enough. I mean, I don't mind editing but something about this really...hurts. And I have no doubt that my writing WASN'T good enough. It still stung.

Anyway, I've applied again, this time as the Master. Back when I applied the first time, I knew nearly nothing about the Master. Now I've been writing and roleplaying him for a year. Will this mean I'm good enough? Well, I don't know. I'm waiting on a bloody response. I did only post yesterday but still. MENTAL. I just want to KNOW really. I mean, I've always got the 50's AU to comfort me if I don't get in but this feels like me facing my fears or something.

I'm worried I didn't say enough and my post was too short. I'm worried that I don't actually understand the Master's character. I'm worried that they hate my writing style on principle. I'm worried that even if I DO get in I won't understand how to do anything, I'll get completely overwhelmed and I'll get voted out or something. How does one plot? Do I know how to do that? Holy crap, you guys!

The sooner I know I'm not in it, the sooner I can move on.
Shit, pessimism.
LOW EXPECTATIONS MEAN LESS DISAPPOINTMENT, U GAIZ.

Okay, I have FAR too much fun with moralsremitted. I totally sympathise with shinyopals and her character journal now. Even with no-one else having joined yet, it is remarkably addictive.
Not that I'm going to STOP.
I'm just worried this may get out of hand.
At least I'll enjoy going mad.

Okay, I realised a bit ago and sporfled.
The dream I had about the party with Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding?
IT WAS CLEARLY AN EPISODE OF EXTRAS.

Saiorse: BATMAN NEEDS A ROBIN
S: I feel like JK Rowling. Wot with the RANDOM CAPSLOCK
Leah: MY LIFE IS A MISERY YOU CAN TELL I'M ANGRY BECAUSE MY KEYBOARD IS STUCK.ANGSTANGSTANGST LIEK THE DOCTAH
S: I'M BATMAN.MY PARENTS ARE DEAD.
L: I'M THE DOCTOR. I DON'T HAVE PARENTS. I WAS LOOOOOMED.
S: WHAT, ARE YOU DENSE? ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING? WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, I'M THE GODDAMNED BATMAN.
L: AND I'M THE GODDAMNED DOCTOR. I'M 903 YEARS OLD AND I'M GOING TO SAVE THIS CITY AND EVERYONE IN IT. ALSO, THE PLANET, PROBABLY. IT ALWAYS COMES TO THAT.
S: THIS IS NOT A GAME
L: OH, I THINK IT IS.
A DEADLY GAME.
FOR OUR LIVES.
AND IF YOU REFUSE TO PLAY IT THEN YOU'LL BE DOOMING US ALL. BE REASONABLE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, BRUCE.
S: ....I'M BATMAN
S: I CAN BREATHE IN SPACE
L: SO CAN I. RESPIRATORY BYPASS.
S: CRIMINALS ARE A COWARDLY, SUSPICIOUS LOT
S: HAVE I MENTIONED, THAT MY PARENTS ARE DEAD?
S: ...Can we stop before I run out of Bat-responses, try to think of more, and give myself terrible Frank Miller flashbacks?