Yesterday, during the last night of One-Acts, I went out to dinner (wellll...the food court) with Leah, Josh and the lead from Time Tells All, Alex. Then, we proceeded to come up with, like, 50 inside jokes or something. Well, no matter what, I think we were rather funny. So I'm going to try and transcribe what went down. Warning: My memory is horrible and that's what I'm working from, my memory. So if I take artistic license...sorry. Also....it's likely that I'll attribute more things to myself than I actually SAID...in which case, sorry again.
(We're eating dinner, when, I can't remember why, Alex brings up the fact that he's going out for dinner with his friends.)
ALEX: Yeah, we're going to an Ethiopian place.
JOSH: Does Ethiopian food exist?
ME: Cous-cous, I would think?
JOSH: I mean, they don't even HAVE food.
ALEX: I have no idea.
ME: Probably it's the food they had BEFORE the Europeans came in and totally destroyed their culture and enslaved them and whatnot.
JOSH: But, like, what do they serve you? Dirt? How did we--
ME: We took all their recipe books when we invaded!
JOSH: Yeah! Where's all the Ethiopian food? Oh, it's in Canada.
ME: Anyways, honestly, I think it involves lots of cous-cous.
ALEX: Probably, I guess.
JOSH: You know...I've always thought of cous-cous as rice's flamboyant younger brother.
(We all laugh.)
ALEX: It's true!
ME: No...that's you, Josh. You're cous-cous.
(...I've totally forgotten what we talked about after that, actually...but later, when we were walking back to the school, I overheard Alex saying that he hated trucks.)
ALEX: I hate trucks.
JOSH: Why?
ALEX: They're big, ugly (after this he listed a lot of unpleasant attributes that I've totally forgotten.)
ME: Sure you aren't confusing trucks with your last girlfriend?
(Leah didn't hear what I said properly, or actually hear what Alex had been saying before so I spent a long time explaining what had happened to her very badly. Eventually, the conversation turned to innuendo.)
ME: No, really, everything is a metaphor for cock.
JOSH: Everything?
ME: Yes. Even the cous-cous.
JOSH: (sarcastically) Oh, I'll put my cous-cous into your oven.
ALEX: So...the oven represents my anus.
JOSH: Yes.
ME: And the cous-cous...represents cous-cous.
JOSH: I'd just like you to take five seconds and VISUALISE that.
(There is a pause.)
EVERYONE: URGH!
That's honestly as much as I can remember. But on the previous night, when I was eating dinner by myself, I overheard some really JAP-y girls talking.
Girl 1: Omigod, so, like, you know the Black History Month Assembly we had today? You know the main speaker?
Girl 2: Yeah?
Girl 1: Well, like, he wasn't really black, he was Jamaican. Black is, like, AFRICAN and stuff.