Nothing Is Real

I'm going MAAAAD. I applied several years ago to a massive RP called polychromatic as Donna Noble. I was rejected.
That rejection has stuck with me ever since, making me afraid of the roleplay. I hate being told my writing isn't good enough. I mean, I don't mind editing but something about this really...hurts. And I have no doubt that my writing WASN'T good enough. It still stung.

Anyway, I've applied again, this time as the Master. Back when I applied the first time, I knew nearly nothing about the Master. Now I've been writing and roleplaying him for a year. Will this mean I'm good enough? Well, I don't know. I'm waiting on a bloody response. I did only post yesterday but still. MENTAL. I just want to KNOW really. I mean, I've always got the 50's AU to comfort me if I don't get in but this feels like me facing my fears or something.

I'm worried I didn't say enough and my post was too short. I'm worried that I don't actually understand the Master's character. I'm worried that they hate my writing style on principle. I'm worried that even if I DO get in I won't understand how to do anything, I'll get completely overwhelmed and I'll get voted out or something. How does one plot? Do I know how to do that? Holy crap, you guys!

The sooner I know I'm not in it, the sooner I can move on.
Shit, pessimism.
LOW EXPECTATIONS MEAN LESS DISAPPOINTMENT, U GAIZ.