Fic: Needs Moar Eight

[brb_evil]

Title: Needs Moar Eight
Summary: 300 versions of Eight are all packed like sardines into a room together. OH WOW HOW HOT WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
Rating: Too hot to have a rating. 
Characters/pairings: Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/Eight/etc.
Disclaimer: Even Stephen Moffat couldn't get away with this.
Author's notes: I'm shocked and appalled at myself and my morals that were previously thought to exist. I DISGUST ME. HOW HORRID. YOU WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS FILTH.

"No, I've tried. This specific me, I mean. And I can't move."
"Are you sure? Can't you get your elbow out of my eye?"
"I'm afraid not. Besides, it isn't my elbow. Well, it is, but in the future. Or in the past."
"I really think we should get out of this predicament as soon as possible. Blinovich would have something to say about this."
"Will you two stop whispering to each other, please? It's hardly helping."
"I was merely remarking on the unlikelyhood of this lasting for much longer due to the Blinovich--"
"Yes, I know. I knew back when this happened too."
"Really? How did I get out of it?"
"I didn't."
"But...what?"
"Yes, it seems to be a time loop. I can remember entering this but not anything after or before it."
"Hang on, do you mean we've lost our memory?"
"Oh, DO stop slaughtering pronouns."
"I'm sure I'm very sorry."
"Be silent, all of you, if you wouldn't mind. Oh for Rassilon's SAKE, Doctor, stop SINGING."
"I thought it would pass the time."
"Er...perhaps later. We can all have a bit of a singsong. I remember that happening at least."
"Really? What did we sing?"
"Not NOW, Doctor!"
"Ah, yes, of course."
"Shouldn't we ought to be able to find the door?"
"I should think so."
"...well?"
"Oh, you mean as in actively, not as a potential likelyhood. No, I'm afraid we're quite stuck."
"But how did I get here to come here again. Er...how many times is it?"
"299. I've been counting. There is very little else to do."
"You could sing."
"Not NOW!"
"Well, presumeably, eventually the paradox will sort itself out and we shall go back to being just me. Or us. As one. One entit--oh, you know what I mean. Because I do. And..."
"I'd suggest you quit while you're ahead."
"Yes. Of course."
"Then all there is left is to wait."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...I think we just had sex."
"No. But they did."
"What, really?"
"Yes, I remember, it was totally unavoidable."
"I can hardly move. How is it--"
"Well, they are the naked ones, of course."
"...of course."
"..."
"..."